I just received this infantile email from author Ben Coes in response to my review of his latest, breathtakingly bad novel, “The Island.” It’s a lot like the email he sent a year ago when I reviewed his previous novel.
My favorite part this time: He says “everyone knows” that he writes well because he once won a writing prize in college. Here’s the full text.
“So you’ve struck again? Thank you! Your negative review of my last book helped drive sales and fingers crossed your unintentional magic hopefully will work again. The only thing your badly written reviews do is reinforce hatred of assholes. Everyone knows I write well. In fact I won the writing prize at Columbia. Did you? Oh that’s right you didn’t. You don’t even mention where you went to college on your website. I’m pretty sure you didn’t go to Columbia even though you attempt to cloak yourself in its halo because you were a janitor there. My guess is you didn’t attend college? Fortunately you have royalties from Mulligan to live on. And your wife’s nationally known poetry. My favorite of her oeuvre? “My Husband Bruce Desilva Wears Womens Lingerie” a terrific poem.
“See you next year fuckhead
“All my best,